life.

Yesterday i was hospitalized for Anxiety/ PPD/Depression/ DSH. I then realized right then and there in the small room with one bed one chair and one table. No cords, strings, my belongings were taking away from me as well.plus the nurse sitting in front of my room watching me for the time being that im there. I was followed to use the phone, also the restroom , and anywhere else i was going to go. As i was putting on my hospital pants and gown is when noticed that i wouldnt want to be in and out of this place. yet i still wasnt thinking about my health, i was more focused on the fact that i was bored. Then the Doctors and Nurses started coming in and out of my small all white and grey room, one examined my body the other took my vitals, then i had to talk about my feelings, my wants and needs, also why i did what i did and why i feel the way feel in that situation. Since my anxiety was up the roof, i was crying and shaking, and also had like a nervousy, panicy feeling for a while. So i was given Ativan to calm down before the big lady comes in the head physiatrist . The medication made me feel calm more happy. Then came in the head lady the physiatrist. She was short a lil chubby, in her 50 or 60’s short hair off greey and white, with an outfit from target that i had seen a while back. it was cute. we talked about why i feel the way i feel (which i cant get into right now) she was very understanding, and really help kinda understand myself better, help me understand some of the choices i have made have been poor choices. I had the chance to go to a group home or go to my house on my mom s watch or a friends. i decided that i would go to my friends BUUT i will do counceling, see a physiatrist, also go to group sessions. when i feel like things are getting to hard i can go to a grouphome, its like halfway between a hospital and being home. well im trying to work things out cause this is no way to live. I cant chage the past but I can change what happens next and i have chosen to do so, with the help of professionals and my loved ones. (dont respond with hate mail its not respectful, its rude and hurtful unfollow me if you dont like what i post, thank you)

Tagged as: me.